Half Notes

I was trying to instill the concept of a half note's getting two beats, (not one, nor three) into a student's comprehension during a lesson and I almost started in with "2 shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be 2. Only 2 shall ye count. Ye shall not count three, nor shall ye count one, excepting that ye then proceed to two. Four shall ye not count, and five is right out."